Summer is over, back to work You'll still recognise that fluttery feeling from years ago. It turns out it's not just reserved for love. That feeling of first summer love, somewhere on a campsite or a beach, when your stomach does a little flip the moment you spot them again. Innocent, light, and above all: wonderful to be in. But holiday butterflies have another side to them. Summer break Finally away from the rush of everyday life. No meetings, no calls, no deadlines, and for once no phone constantly demanding your attention. For the first time in months, nothing you have to do. And it's precisely in that quiet that a different kind of flutter surfaces: a nagging feeling about your work, one you'd successfully pushed down all year. One simple question: "do I actually still enjoy this?" Headspace IIn the rush of daily life, there's simply no moment to stop and sit with a feeling like that. You run from meeting to deadline, and the feeling never gets any space because your diary keeps pulling you forward. And now you're on holiday, and suddenly that space is there. No wonder that it's precisely then that the question surfaces of whether you shouldn't be doing something else. Doubt Your head says stay. It pays well, you know what you've got, nobody has anything to fault you for. But your gut says something else. That feels illogical, doesn't it? Why would you doubt something that, rationally speaking, checks out? And yet that's exactly what holiday butterflies do: they bring up something that appears to have no factual grounding whatsoever. And still, that feeling won't let go. Silence The difficult part is that this doubt is rarely spoken out loud. Not to a manager, not to a partner or a close friend, often not even to yourself. You've been putting off that conversation with yourself for months, maybe longer. Until your holiday finally gives you the space to sit with it. And then what? Discovery Most people who recognise this don't want to make a rash move. Not resign on impulse after a few weeks of rest. What you do want is to know what's actually right and what isn't — before making a decision you might later regret. Taking the time to work out whether the issue lies in the role, in the organisation, or somewhere deeper. Support You don't have to do that alone. Sometimes it's enough to talk it through with someone who has no stake in whichever answer you land on — simply to get clarity on what those butterflies are actually trying to tell you. Holiday butterflies usually pass. The only question is whether the answer behind them does too. Perhaps this is just the nudge you need to listen to how you feel, and to properly close out this holiday.

Or is this a short-term strategy that ultimately does not make sense? Recently, during a walk, I saw a company's slogan that got me thinking. This slogan suggested that it's important always to get the most out of people (and organizations) An interesting slogan, ' we get the most out of people' . And what does that mean? For example, I initially imagined squeezed oranges rather than optimally performing people. Maximize II'm not entirely sure what this company meant by this slogan. What I do know is that it doesn't immediately give me the feeling that it's good for the people who work for this company. Or is that because I often see and speak to people who put in maximum effort at work and then push past their limits until they get sick and burn out? Optimal Personally, I would much prefer to talk about getting the optimal or best out of people. I am convinced that this yields better long-term results and probably happier employees, with less absenteeism and turnover. The idea that people can always perform at their maximum is, in my opinion, utopian. Sustainable A lot of attention is currently being paid to sustainable business practices. Maybe it would help organizations to also view sustainable business from the perspective of people's resilience. Sometimes, you are more resilient than at other times. Sustainable business then results in not only environmental benefits but also benefits for the people. Trust Last week, I facilitated a 'High Impact Leadership' training in Paris. One of the topics discussed there was the importance of trust in organizations. And that this is the basis for building successful teams where people are not afraid to discuss difficult topics. How wonderful would it be if everyone found their work environment so trustworthy that there is understanding for personal situations like illness, home life, or other non-work-related issues that affect resilience? Unfortunately, the reality is often that this safety does not exist. So, people continue to perform maximally until they collapse, quit, or become long-term sick. Premiere league See the differences compared to top-level sports. Periods of intense performance are alternated with periods of rest to recover and become stronger. Success is achieved there by finding the optimal balance between hard work and timely rest to achieve top results. With the Summer Olympics approaching, maybe it's a good moment to discuss optimal workload at the next staff meeting. Hopefully, there is enough trust to have these conversations with each other. My conviction is that everyone wants to be successful, preferably with the right balance to perform optimally. What do you think?

Sometimes well-intentioned advice leads to unintended outcomes, while meaningful conversations often result in new insights. 26 December 2024 Tempting as it may be to give advice, everyone deserves the time and space to discover and learn on their own, without direction or judgment. As a child, like many others, I experienced bullying and name-calling. My typical response was to say, “you are what you say,” driven by helplessness or fear of consequences if I stood up to the bullying. Perhaps I already intuitively sensed that retaliating wouldn’t change anything. Insight Incidents in youth that seem random at the time can later provide valuable insights. This happened to me during a recent conversation with someone I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. We discussed similarities in our work, hobbies, and personal lives, and found we had more in common than we had thought. Because I have known and respected this person for many years, observing how he handles personal hardships, the conversation lingered in my mind. Voice This morning, a voice in my head said, ‘you want what you say.’ Only one word different from the phrase I often used as a child in response to taunts and bullying. Reflecting on this today, I realized there is very little difference between what children wish upon each other during bullying and what adults wish upon each other when trying to help. The bullying child feels, even if just for a moment, superior by humiliating another child. There is no consideration for the bullied child’s feelings. Similarly, when I, with good intentions, advise someone based on my experiences without considering the potential consequences, I unintentionally create a sense of superiority. In both cases, there’s a chance the other person’s behavior might change. This blurs the line between advising and bullying, an interesting and surprising revelation I find humor in as a coach and consultant. Flashback Reflecting on my conversation earlier this week, the proverbial penny dropped. Was the phrase that woke me up this morning lingering in my mind because we have a tendency to want to change people around us? Did the personal commonalities remind me of this, or was there something else that struck a chord? The central question thus becomes whether our advice truly provides others with the space and safety to express what they might want to say, or do we advise them to do things because we wish to steer them in a certain direction? Gift What I repeatedly learn is that every conversation offers opportunities for growth. Whether it involves bullying, advising, or coaching, if you remain open, you can derive something valuable from each interaction. I now can see the bullying from my youth as a gift. I have learned much from it, even though that realization came much later, along with the awareness of the limitations I had created for myself due to the bullying. Tempting as it may be to give advice, everyone deserves the time and space to discover and learn on their own, without direction or judgment. And if I’m ever asked for advice, I’ll start by repeating the phrase that woke me up this morning.