If We Don’t Talk About It, Does It Even Exist?

Imagine working in an organisation where difficult conversations are consistently avoided. Unfortunately, this happens more often than we might think. Recently, I heard about an organisation where challenging discussions are systematically sidestepped. Underperforming employees are not coached on their behaviour; instead, they are left to their own devices, and when things really go wrong, they are transferred elsewhere. This gave birth to the title of this blog.

Judgement

My first reaction was, ‘How can management let this happen?’ I admit, I quickly formed a judgement myself. It was quite confronting to realise this as I began writing. After all, I’m expected to observe and listen without judgement.

A Pattern Emerges

Delving deeper, a clear pattern appeared. A manager displays inappropriate behaviour, and the organisation fails to respond adequately. Both employees and the manager suffer as a result. The consequences are predictable: high absenteeism, frequent turnover, motivation problems, and a poorly functioning department. And that’s not even considering the impact on the manager. It seems easier to request a transfer to make it someone else’s problem rather than giving the manager the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

Naming the Issue

By ‘naming the issue’, I don’t mean simply relocating the manager to a new role or department. I mean addressing the behaviour itself and seeking the root cause — without judgement. Any form of judgement risks creating an unsafe environment for everyone involved. Employees hold back out of fear of repercussions. Managers hesitate to show vulnerability and ask for support. The organisation is left grappling with persistent problems. Everyone loses in this scenario. So, what makes it so difficult to have conversations about performance? I can only speculate.

Leadership

True leadership means initiating these conversations, creating a safe space, and treating everyone with respect — even when mistakes are made. After all, mistakes are essential for learning. In other words, we must talk about it. Only then can we uncover the underlying issues, respect everyone’s viewpoints, and investigate root causes. For clarity: this doesn’t mean agreeing with every opinion.

I sincerely hope this organisation cultivates a culture where situations like these are not only recognised but openly discussed. Change begins with making things talkable. Perhaps the involved manager will finally have the space to reflect on their behaviour and its consequences — without being transferred for the fifth time. And how wonderful would it be if the team where this manager recently started could enjoy a leader who builds a trusting, high-performing environment where people are happy and openly share how rewarding it is to work together.